Is my life going to progress finally?

So after thinking really long and hard about some stuff, I really feel like I'm wasting time just sitting around. I'm not in school, I can't find a job. Things are getting really tough for me. I enrolled into Laney only to find that all the classes we no longer accepting late comers. I feel so hopeless. Every time I get excited about school, nothing goes right. So I was thinking that I need to get into school as soon as possible and that could quite possibly mean that I would be going to Berklee College of Music next fall. I have until January to turn in regular action application and probably gonna audition sometime between January an March. I really hope I get in. It would make me really happy and I would finally feel like I'm not wasting time and I could get on with my life.

I was talking with my sister and mom about my plans yesterday and my mom didn't seem to happy about it. At first she started like putting out all these cons. You can't pay for it, you think you can handle moving so far away, don't think you're gonna get it, its possible that you wont..etc. And I kept presenting the pros and trying to show her how happy I was about moving forward with my life and she sorta just ignored me and started watching TV and then my sister started defending my mom saying that I shouldn't get my hopes up. That really pissed me off and I bet that I'm gonna get into that school one way or another. If not this fall then maybe next spring. I want to go to that school, its where I want to end up for higher education. Berklee is the place I want to use as the catalyst for my happy life.

Liberation and Taking Charge

So last night....well early this morning maybe around 2ish or so, I was watching Under the Tuscan Sun. I thought it was a good movie but in the midst of it for some reason I felt really really good. I felt like I had some revealation of how I want my life to be. I want to be able to walk around and be me. To not have to hide a huge part of my life from my family. I just want to be liberated from my life of solitude.

So I've been thinking about how to to reach my goal which doesn't neccessarily mean retired at age 30 with loads of money. Let me first tell you what one of my goals is. Ultimately I want to have a masters in Music Composition. My primary instrument will be handbells and I want to work as a Film Scorer. Thats what I want to persue and along with finding a partner that makes me happy and my family accepting who I am.

But now to work up to that. I definitely need to be in school but do I enroll in Open University at East Bay or do I wait until spring semester at DVC. East Bay cost 10 times as much as DVC and DVC offers the proper music classes that I could use when I transfer to Berklee College of Music. So the logical explanation is to go to DVC and I think that is what I'm going to do. I'm gonna work all fall and winter and start school in January. I have ample time to reapply and start off finally on the track that I want to take. So basically I'm excited and ready to take charge of my life.

I would love to write more but I'm on a schedule.

Time Goes By

So its been a while since I've posted about anything so I'll do a quick review.

So my sister and I never moved into the San Pablo house. She ended up not applying to school. After I got all of my DVC stuff filled out I went away for three weeks. I was up in the sierras. That was a lot of fun. When I got back home, DVC sent me more stuff to fill out when I told them I was gonna leave for three weeks and I needed everything now. So I went up there and filled out the stuff but all of the classes were full. So now I'm not in school. It sucks because I really want to be in school so I can get my general education so I can transfer to Berklee School of Music in Boston and get on with my life. Looks like I'll be behind for a semester but I'll just have to do classes over the summer to make up for lost time. So I'm just gonna work. Probably gonna get a job at AMC because hella folks are about to leave to go off to UC's. When I apply again for school I'm probably gonna go to Merritt or Laney or something because it's close and I can keep more hours at work and go to my rehearsals. I have lots of rehearsing to do in September so I can be ready for my auditions and my week long handbell conference in North Carolina. That's pretty much all thats happened since my last post. I'll update later.

New House, New College

So, my sister and I have been talking about moving out to the Concord, Pleasant Hill area so that we could go to DVC together. We searched for jobs and apartments and everything out there. My sister finally presented the idea to our dad that we both want to move and go to college out there. He suggested that she and I move into the San Pablo house. The San Pablo house was our grandmother's and when she died she gave it our dad.

My dad is very logical and thinks that it would be better that we live here because rent would be a lot cheaper than living out in Concord and it would be an actual house and way bigger than an apartment. Though secretly I think its my dad's way of getting this house looking nice. Currently it's sorta sad looking.

Along with my dad's logical thinking, he suggest that my sister and I both go to Contra Costa College which is a 5 minute drive from our house. We'd save like 80 minutes and $7 each time we went to school. So my sister is set on going to CCC but I'm not to sure that I want to go to that school. I sorta had my mind set on DVC and their music program which is more extensive than the program at CCC. My sister really wants me to go to CCC with her. I'm undecided. I think im going to go to DVC and just take the extra time and effort to get out there for school. Their program seems to suit what im looking for in a music program. We'll see......

On the other hand, my sister and I are both really excited about living in San Pablo. We have tons of ideas about how to fix up the house and to make it our own. We went back and forth to Barnes and Nobles looking at interior design books and walked around Target a lot, looking at furniture and appliances. We discussed painting options and even knocking down a wall and adding stuff here and there. Hopefully we can get this done before school starts.

More to come later......

College App

So I wasn't going to do my DVC application until later but after talking with my friend Emilio, I decided to do my application now. So last night I went to the DVC website and filled out the application and FAFSA application. So glad I did that because the FAFSA deadline is on Monday June 30th. YIKES!

I'm really hoping I get enough money from FAFSA. I'm having an extremely hard time finding a job so I can save up to pay for tuition. I feel like I really need to step up an figure things out and make good decisions because I could really mess up. It's possible that we might have to move because our landlord is selling our apartment building to an low income housing business thing. We exactly aren't low income family so if he sells this place, we're gonna have to move. So yah definitely gonna need to step up for myself.

Why I created this blog

I created this blog not to talk about all the events of my every day life and to put in a few trivial movie quotes here and there, but to talk about my newly acquired journey that I have titled, The En Route Experience. En Route describes my trials, tribulations and success in my life. The things I face in route to my ulitmate goal. Whatever that may be. The fact that I want to major in both handbell performance and film scoring. The first of the two being just about unheard of the the latter of the two in which I have no experience.

This blog will contain personal thoughts and feeling pertaining to my life and those who are involved in it. I'll use it as an opportunity to express myself without being judged, and a way to journal my experiences in the attempt to provide others with a possible solution to their similar En Route Experiences.